What I Learnt About My Relationship In Lockdown: Eve

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The ups, the downs, the ins, the outs...dating during a pandemic taught a lot of people a lot of things. Some were good, some were bad, some were just a bit meh. Writers’ Club member Eve shares her experience, and what she learnt, from dating during truly unprecedented times…

When March 2020 hit, it was like the apocalypse had collapsed on Earth’s front door: no more parties, no more hugging, no more spontaneity outside of your own four walls (or your house if you will). With that came many problems, especially surrounding dating, relationships and emotional bonding. Not only could you not see your partner in crime, but you had a screen separating you -which was both a blessing and a curse: it was almost a sort of torture not being able to reach out and touch them, but at least you could still see their face, which wouldn’t have been possible only a decade or two ago...hallelujah to modern technology! - and you had to consciously choose to isolate yourself from the one person you always feel the least isolated from.

Personally, I didn’t see my significant other for over half a year. To some, that seems like I’m lucky it wasn’t longer, to others that seems like a lifetime, or two. We called and texted, not too much that the strain of isolation and screen time made us tired to see one another, but enough to not want to scream out in agony for missing them so much.

I learnt about missing someone so dearly that it physically hurts when you think about them for too long, knowing you can’t meet up with them. I learnt how to package and deal with that pain to prevent the days becoming a swirling sea of negative thoughts and emotions at the forefront of all my thoughts. I learnt that the answer to the majority of problems (not just my own but many others too) is communication.

I learnt that people matter. Not that I didn’t think people mattered before. But I now understand that the connections you make and the feelings they create are not just to be known as a priority or a necessity, but that they should be a want too,  and that want is the glue that holds us together. It makes us want to talk to each other. It makes us hold each other close (or in 2020, want to hold each other close). In terms of relationships, it makes your partner not just something you need to survive or something you’re grasping onto because you don’t “work” on your own, but someone you are not entitled to, and privileged to have and call “mine”.

Another important discovery I made last year was that every day isn’t and won’t be perfect, but it’s what you make of it that counts. Our family had vinyl record playing night, and Domino’s pizza night, and we watched new series on Netflix to stay present, engaged and most importantly, together. I ended up making quizzes, taking quizzes, doing film nights through group watch, and daily check-ins  to make sure everything was okay. And all of it was worth it for the memories I made and where we ended up on the other side.

In conclusion, lockdown was rough for anyone in love: from those braving it together to those stranded miles apart, to those who were near but so distant and those who wanted to be home so bad but stayed away. But we’ve made it through and it let me find something out not just about everything around me, but about myself too.

Now I know I am happy.