How To Support Your Friends With Their Exam Results
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GCSE exam results will be coming out next week and a lot of people might be feeling nervous about what they’re going to see. Here are some ways you can support your friends - and yourself - through the day and make sure everyone feels good about the end of an era!
First things first…
An important thing to remember going into the day is that everyone responds to their results in different ways. For some it might be good news, for others it might be disappointing. Take the time to listen to your friends, observe their body language, and let them know beforehand that whatever their results, you’re there for them. If they want to dance around, you’re there. If they need some quiet time to reflect, you’re there. And if they want to hide in a bush and have a cry…you’re there too.
Even if the results aren’t quite what your pals expected, you can remind them that they should be proud of themselves as a whole, and that they are not defined by one set of results. There are still ways they can achieve their goals and next steps, and this is a time to celebrate the fact that they’ve got through an entire schooling milestone and there’s another exciting adventure ahead.
Setting yourselves up…
Why not start the day the right way, the night before! If you can, meet up with your friends and have a self care night. Watch your favourite movies, eat your favourite food, play your favourite games, and generally keep the stress to a minimum and the good vibes to the max. You’ll all feel refreshed going to get your results the next day, and you’ll all be together! If your friends go to different schools and you can’t be together, set up a group chat and send messages of encouragement the night before so you know everyone is there with each other in spirit!
It’s important too to double check with everyone beforehand how they want to attack the day - there might be people who don’t want to be added to a group chat, or share their experience with other people. So have a chat, agree on a plan and go from there. Support doesn’t always mean being visible, it can just mean doing what’s best for your friend, in whatever way they need.
On the day itself…
There are going to be a lot of emotions flying around on the actual day. Good, bad, indifferent, and everything in between, above and below! To prepare for it, why not set up a game plan with your pals before getting there. Talk about all the possible outcomes and what everyone will need if they happen. That way, you’ll know how to spring into action and be the best support you can be for each other.
Remember to be sensitive. If you get great results, you have every right to be happy, celebrate, and let your friends know what you got. But they might not want their faces rubbed in it, especially if their results didn’t quite go to plan. So, be sensitive to other people’s feelings. You could always implement a “say it once and move on” type of thing, where you each say your results clearly once, and then talk about/do something else for the rest of the day - unless someone specifically asks to talk about their results in more detail.
Time is a healer, and it’s something that some of your friends might need on this day. Not everyone wants to talk about their failures straight away, and they might be embarrassed or shy about the results they’ve seen. So it’s important to not pressure anyone, and to give everyone the space and time they need to process what’s happened. Just let them know that whenever they’re ready to talk, you’re ready to listen!
Opening your results in the school grounds can also feel like a lot of pressure, as there'll be lots of people doing the same thing, and having lots of feelings out in the open. why not arrange to pick up your results together, and then go somewhere else to open them. Pack a picnic and go to the park, go for a long walk, take everything back to someone’s home and get comfy, or do it over a coffee. Ease into it, rather than having to feel like you need to do everything there and then.
Most importantly, keep things in perspective. It might feel like this is the be all and end all right now. And that you’re only either going to fail or succeed because of a number on a page. And while some results may directly relate to what you want to do at sixth form or college, they don’t dictate what you can actually do with your future. Encourage your pals to look positively ahead, so they can maintain a sense of focus - and excitement - for what’s going to come. This is just one step in a big journey ahead of you, and it’s up to you, not your exam results, to make the next steps happen!
