A Letter To My Future Self: Xena

Include this article in your Skills Builder Journal. It could help you develop... 

Imagine if, in three or five or ten year’s time, you received a letter from the person you are now. What would you want to hear and what do you, presently, want that person to know? This is Writers’ Club member Xena’s letter to their future self…

Dear Future Me,

In 2032, you will probably be either 31 or 32, somewhere in a huge city, trying to make your dreams work, or maybe you have made your dreams work, it’s just that I don’t know yet. After all, you were never a rural girl anyway, those places would always make you homesick and you always wanted to go home as soon as you could.

In your lifetime, ever since you were a child, you always wanted to achieve great significant things in life, not just for the sake of others’ expectations, but because your purpose in life was to become someone. Someone who wanted to change people’s lives for the better and be a role model, for people like us. But not just that, you wanted to be happy within yourself too, doing what you always wanted to do. 

To be an artist. Of your own kind. 

However, despite having huge dreams, you were always so easily demotivated, because you never thought you would ever make it, especially with how the school system was like for you. But also by taking on huge responsibilities. Being the eldest forced you from a young age to grow up faster, because the dysfunction in your circumstances meant that you had to experience things that a lot of people often cannot relate to, which clearly affected you. After all, you’re probably shocked that you’re still here, let alone in your early 30s!
 

ld 

I know I am, despite only being 21.

So tell me, after all these years, how are you? How is life for you? 

I suppose you didn’t really expect a letter from your 21-year-old self throughout your whole existence, because digging through the past just causes you pain and grief and so I don’t expect a reply from you. Well not to worry, I didn’t expect to be writing to you either, so we’re both mutual on that!

Anyway, I hope you’re doing well. However there are things I wanted to answer before I sign off on this.

So what are you doing now? Are you procrastinating as usual in your room or are you doing what you always wanted to do, or something else? Is being a creative still your biggest goal in your life like doing art, making some beats on your “limited” or rather “unlimited” space MacBook? (depending on if you got money by that time) Or are you doing journalism or something along the media route? 

I know with the little time I have now and with so many choices, combined with uncertainty, it honestly does scare me when I think about which path I want to take that will truly make me happy, but also ensure I won’t regret it either, so I don’t lose my purpose in life. 

I’m assuming that you graduated from university. How was the ceremony? Did you get the grade that you wanted? I know right now university is very hard to deal with and I’m finding it rather overwhelming, so I’m not sure if Future Me will have continued with it.

I know this sounds rather stupid but are you still friends with the people that you met on Zoom back in 2020? If you are, are you guys still in contact with one another and do you hang out as often as you can still? I hope it’s still the same as it was, my friends now are a huge part of my life and so I would be sad if that were to change.

Throughout your adolescence, you often struggled with your mental wellbeing to the point that you literally avoided going to school. Did you get help with your moods and are you coping well with that? Also, are you happier than ever too?

Are you still shy? I know at school, people teased and made fun of you for that, and I know it completely ruined your confidence to speak more openly. Right now, I’m trying to be more social with people. However, it can be rather difficult, especially as I’m so used to it. Maybe I should learn to embrace it, rather than force myself to be someone else? I don’t know. Is that a good plan, Future Xena? 

Are your hobbies and interests the same? You have always been a music lover and right now, I’m a huge fan of electronic music, especially Drum and Bass and music from Japan. I wonder if that will be the case by the time I’m in my 30’s, or will I have become a boomer by then and go back to my emo phase? Has your art and writing also improved too? If so, I would love to see it! I want to see how far I come within these years! 

Do you still play video games? If so, what games have you played and collected? I’m really into classic retro games now and so it would be so cool if you managed to collect some retro consoles and stuff, especially the classic Nintendo consoles and the PS1. That would be my dream! 

Also, what shows, and films are you watching as of right now? I’m currently watching a lot of shows and movies, especially from Japan but also a lot of animated shows like Rick and Morty.

Finally, do you own a house or are you living on your own? I’m currently in student halls but I know it’s not long term and so I’m feeling rather anxious if I must go back to my parents once again when university is all over and done with. I’m so used to having my own space, it’s going to be weird being in that space once again. 

Well, I’ll leave you alone for now, you must be busy now and so you must think that I’m being an absolute pain right now. 

Best Wishes!

That annoying 21-Year-Old Me!

P.S: Don’t forget the music too!