How To Face Your Fears Head On

Include this article in your Skills Builder Journal. It could help you develop... 

Happy Halloween! Have you spotted any ghosts and ghoulies? Fallen for some tricks you thought were treats? Got spooked one too many times? While Halloween may all be fun and games in the end, there are some things IRL that can feel a little more scary. Luckily Writers’ Club members Kerrie and Emily are here with some handy tips and tricks for facing your fears head on!

What Emily says…

Whilst spiders and small spaces are not exactly my favourite things in the world, for me there is little scarier than staring at a blank document. Whether it’s in an exam, or on the computer, it always feels so daunting. Every time the cursor flashes on screen I always feel vaguely threatened, like it’s trying to pressure me into writing something quick. So, as I’m sure you can imagine, deciding I wanted to write a full-length novel became quite terrifying when I had to start actually writing it. 

I put it off for as long as possible by making Pinterest boards and Spotify playlists, until eventually there was nothing left to do but write. I just had to start it. To overcome the mental block, I had two main strategies. One was to remind myself that what I wrote didn’t have to be perfect. And I think this advice goes for anything you’re scared to start, be that an essay, an art project, or a new hobby. You don’t have to be perfect right from the off. Most of the time, perfect isn’t even possible! Just by making a start, you’re making progress. The other thing that helped me was a genuine passion for my project. It was a story I wanted to tell, and so I tried to imagine the sense of achievement I’d have once it was finished, and worked backwards from that. It was still scary at first, but the more I wrote, the easier it got. l started to look forward to my writing time rather than dreading it. And I’m so glad I did give it a go, because looking back on the completed first draft, the pride I felt was proof that facing my fear was the right thing to do. 

Then my friend told me to post it online. Writing had been daunting enough, but putting it out into the world was absolutely petrifying. The internet can be a judgemental place and I didn’t think I was brave enough to put myself out there. As soon as I hit ‘publish’, I spent the next few hours in an adrenaline-fuelled panic, daydreaming about all the awful things that might happen. It took until I got my first comment - a very sweet compliment - to realise that sometimes we make things seem scarier than they really are. After the initial fear was gone, I was able to gain confidence in my own work, something I never would have had without posting my writing. So to anyone reading, yes it can be scary, but putting yourself out there is definitely worth it!

What Kerrie says…

Fears are prominent in our everyday life. From heights, to jump scares, to ghosts, everyone experiences fear in different ways. The introduction of many more fear factors, such as spiders and clowns, come about in October and cause a lot of distress for those who harbour fear for these things. This leads us to the question: how do you tackle your fears? How do you make events such as Halloween more enjoyable if you have a fear or phobia? 

According to psychology theories, one way to solve a fear or phobia is gradually desensitising yourself. By teaching yourself relaxation techniques such as slow, controlled breaths or mindfulness, you can gradually build yourself up to facing your fears. Find a technique that works for you and start with imagining or looking at your fear. You can then use these techniques to build up to actually being in the presence of, or touching your fear without being scared. Of course, this can take quite a while but it’s a technique that has worked for me personally. If you are not comfortable throwing yourself into the deep end, this is a great technique! Alternatively, flooding can also work well for those who find it difficult to work through the previous technique. Flooding is where you go straight to confronting your fear without working your way up to it. For example, if you are scared of spiders, you may hold a spider in your hand until your fear is gone. While this is a great technique for some, it carries some risks in that it can exacerbate your fear. 

While facing your fears seems like the least fun activity possible, there are definitely ways to add enjoyment to this process. In my personal experience, facing any fears I have is the last thing I would want to do. However, with a fun way to do it, going out of my comfort zone seems a lot more attractive. Maybe you could try the techniques above, but do it with friends. Do you and a friend share the same fear? You could go through the process together and support each other. Additionally, you could pair up with your adrenaline-seeking friends and visit a haunted house or join a fright night experience if this aligns with your fears. By having the support of your friends, you can work your way to being fearless on your own whilst having more fun with it!

Do you have any good techniques for facing your fears? What’s something you never thought you’d accomplish but did? Let us know over on insta at @NCS!