10 Things To Do If You're Feeling Lonely

By some of the team at NCS, together with our lovely followers on Instagram.

Loneliness. It’s something most of us would probably prefer to live our entire lives without ever experiencing. Yet feeling lonely is as natural as feeling sad, happy, angry, or giddy with joy.

The fact is, we’ll probably all feel lonely at some point in our lives. Perhaps even, at many points. 
So, in case you need a reminder: the next time you end up feeling lonely, it certainly doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. 

And here’s a second reminder: there are ways that you can help to ease any loneliness.

Rather than being surprised or panicked when loneliness does pop up, we can build our resilience and have a few tricks up our sleeves to help us deal with it. We asked our Instagram followers for their tips, and the team at NCS have shared a few of their tips too...  

Tip 1: Accept your feelings

Loneliness can feel really difficult, and so there might be a temptation to try and distract ourselves from it. And hey, distraction can be helpful (see below!), but it’s also really healthy to lean into the feeling and simply accept that it is there. Try saying to yourself, “Right now, I’m feeling lonely — and as uncomfortable as it feels, I know the feeling can lessen over time”. 

Tip 2: Embrace your creativity

Loneliness can often feel pretty overwhelming. It can feel heavy in our bodies and minds. So using your creativity, to express how you’re feeling through writing or doodling, or dancing, can often help you take your power back and stop the loneliness from feeling so all-encompassing. 

Tip 3: Let go of any feelings of shame

The trouble with loneliness is that it’s often accompanied by an added extra layer of shame. We might blame ourselves, thinking something along the lines of, “I’m lonely because no one likes me”. Or, “What’s wrong with me? If I was better at making friends I wouldn’t be feeling this way.” But none of that is true. So if you notice those thoughts, try and reassure yourself that there’s nothing wrong with you, and that everyone feels lonely at times. 

Tip 4: Distract yourself

These words of wisdom come from one of our lovely followers on Insta. Doing a hobby, reading, going outside — sometimes simply switching things up and doing something new can help ease any feelings of loneliness. The important thing when allowing yourself a distraction is, rather than mindlessly doom-scrolling for hours on end, try and choose a distraction that you know you’ll enjoy.

Tip 5: Talk to people you trust

This one’s a popular route to ease loneliness. And it’s probably because, if the root of loneliness is often feeling disconnected from yourself or others, then reaching out to people and having a chat can often help to re-ignite the connection — and therefore lower the feelings of loneliness.

If you feel like you know lots of people, but that there isn’t a deep enough connection to share your inner thoughts, just remember that there are so many kind people in the world who are happy to talk things over with you. Helplines like Shout, which you can text on 85258, is one such support and if you scroll down to the bottom of this page, you’ll find other helplines you can contact. 

Tip 6: Listen to fave music or TV shows

Whether it’s Slipknot, Lil Nas X, or Taylor Swift, getting some fave music on your earbuds and having a dance around the house can help to shift your mood. 

Tip 7: Spend time in nature

You don’t need to live close to some gorgeous forest or a massive lake to be able to enjoy nature. Even if you live in an inner city housing estate, just heading out and noticing the greenery coming up between the cracks, or watching the petals of a flower move in the breeze, can remind you of the resilience of nature — and, in turn, remind you of your own resilience. Yes, times of loneliness can feel really tough, but you will get through this.

Tip 8: Take it slow

Feelings of loneliness might not disappear overnight. And that’s okay. That’s normal. It might take days, weeks, or months until the feelings ease. So go easy on yourself. If it feels too much to open up to someone or to start doing new activities, just keep in mind that you don’t need to rush into anything — take things at your own pace. 

Tip 9: Spend time with others

Let’s be honest, hanging out with people who you don’t feel a connection with can often bring up feelings of loneliness. So if you’re feeling that way about your social group, it’s often a good shout to branch out and meet some new people. Maybe head to a new youth club. Or join an online group. And try and think about how your interests could help you connect with other people. For example, if you like reading, you might want to spend some time in a local library before joining a book club. 
You might also want to check out the new NCS experiences, where you’re sure to meet a whole new group of people. 

Tip 10: Try not to compare yourself

It’s easy to look at other people and think they’re living their best life — and that we’re the only person who’s feeling lonely. In reality, we know that’s not the case. We’ll all feel lonely at different times and in different situations. So try not to compare yourself to others. 

If you notice that your feeds on social are making you feel lonely, it’s often a good move to limit the time you spend scrolling!
Just remember, different things work for different people — and at different times. So try not to put too much pressure on yourself, and just try whichever tips feel doable for you in the moment.

Helplines if you’re feeling lonely: 

The Hub of Hope: this is a national database that shows you mental health support services near you. 

Side by Side: a community platform run by Mind.

The Mix: Whether you want a quick chat or more focused help, the trained team at The Mix will be there to help. Text THEMIX to 85258 or use one of their other helpline platforms

Kooth: On their platform, you can chat to a counsellor, connect with others your age on discussion forums, and access hundreds of helpful articles and self-help activities. There are no fees, no waiting lists, and absolutely no judgement. 

Shout: If you are struggling to cope and need to talk, trained Shout Volunteers are here for you, day or night. Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, anonymous text support service.

Samaritans: Whatever you're going through, you can call Samaritans at any time, from any phone for free. They will listen. They won't judge or tell you what to do. Call free on 116 123.

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