How Cancer Affected My Family Life
Written by Kadie (she/her) who found her strength when going through some massive life changes.
4 min read
My nan, grandad and mum were all diagnosed with cancer before I turned seventeen.
With 1 in 2 people expected to develop some form of cancer during their lifetime, it is more than likely that everyone will be affected at some point, whether it is your diagnosis or a loved one’s.
How To Support Someone With Cancer In the Family
I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, but having lived through various members of my family getting cancer, these are things I’ve learned about how to support someone with cancer in the family.
My Grandad’s Diagnosis
My grandad was the first of my family members to be diagnosed, in November 2018, when I was 12. I was always so close to him, so hearing the news came as a shock. It made me think that he could lose his spark and might not have the energy to go places with me anymore.
In most cases, the person gets sick — either from the treatment or if they don’t have the treatment — and this is one of the worst things about it all, especially if they show no symptoms before. I immediately wanted to try and help:
- I thought the best way to help was through fundraising.
- I raised £300 for Stand Up To Cancer at my school through a bake sale and raffle.
Other good ways to help your loved ones, if they aren’t in hospital, are:
- Going to see them often.
- Doing something a special to make them smile.
- Helping out wherever you can, or helping anyone living with them who may have to be doing a little bit extra.
My Nan’s Diagnosis
A few years later, in July 2022, when I was 15, my nan was diagnosed with cancer in her oesophagus. Doctors would have to take part of her stomach to repair the tissue in her lung through a surgery. She was a lot sicker than my grandad and was in hospital for six months recovering in intensive care after complications from the operation. One of the biggest things that hit me at this time is that you can’t fix it;
So what can you do?
In my experience, this is what I learned about how to support someone with cancer in the family:
- You can help someone feel better and support them through their treatment, but it is impossible to take their pain away.
While my nan was in hospital, I visited her most days and the struggle of balancing my school work and trying not to be distracted by everything was quite exhausting. But, we had to keep going and I had to try my best to juggle friends, plans, school life and taking care of anything my nan would do at home, such as cooking and cleaning.
My Mum’s Diagnosis
In April 2023, when I was 16, just as my nan had managed to settle back in at home, my mum got diagnosed. With me and my mum living alone, this felt like absolutely terrifying news, as I would have to support her the best I could myself. A couple of weeks before my GCSEs, she had a successful surgery and began radiotherapy.
After she began recovering, we did the Race for Life with some friends and raised an incredible £2,500 for Cancer Research as a team. It’s really important to take some time to de-stress yourself and take your mind off everything for a bit, because it can have an impact on your mental health too.
The Cancer Support Lessons I’ve Learnt
Looking back over the five years, it was a horrible thing to happen, but there are so many things I am grateful for:
- The experience brought us closer together and showed the friends that were really there in hard times.
- Sometimes you don’t realise how long it’s been since you’ve seen your family and you can take for granted that they’ll be there when you want to see them, but I learned to step outside of my comfort zone and work harder to make the time to be with my family members and friends.
It was a roller coaster, with a lot of cries and sad times but little memories stick out as the person going through it starts to recover, or when you do something to cheer them up, and I am so lucky that I got to see everyone smile again. It changed me and made me appreciate my family that little bit more because we all share the memories we didn’t imagine we would ever have to make.
My Advice: How To Support Someone With Cancer In Your Family
The biggest piece of advice I can give to anyone, whether you know someone who has cancer or not, is to make as many memories with the people you love as possible.
Anything can happen to anyone, at any time, so make the most of all the time you have together while you’re healthy. Don’t waste it and don’t think “it probably won’t happen to me” because I didn’t expect it to either.
Make some memories of your own by signing up for an NCS experience. Meet new people, grow your strengths, and have a load of fun at the same time. Grab your place today!
Read more:
Show your boobs some love
Fun ways to get to know your fam
Learn how to protect your mental health
