Choose respect during Anti-Bullying Week 2024 and beyond
6 min read
This week is Anti-Bullying Week, an annual event to:
- Raise awareness of bullying of children and young people
- Highlight ways of preventing and responding to it
The event started in 2002, and each year the Anti-Bullying Alliance work with hundreds of children, families, and schools to come up with a theme for the year. This year, the theme is Choose Respect.
Why Choose Respect? The anti-bullying campaign…
The Anti-Bullying Alliance and the Young Anti-Bullying Alliance have created this brilliant poem to showcase their Choose Respect theme. Check it out and then we’ll delve further into what respect means as a whole.
What does respect mean?
In general, respect means: having regard for someone’s feelings, wishes, or rights.
So, taking into account what people are saying, thinking, feeling and needing, and doing what you can to listen and adhere to them.
But why do we need to respect people?
Well, respect helps us all feel safe to express ourselves, and teaches us how to accept people for who they are, even if they’re different from you or have opposing views. Respect is also a foundation to healthy relationships in all forms, as it builds trust, and a feeling of safety.
How do you show respect?
Showing respect can come naturally to some people, but for others, it needs to be learnt. Especially when it comes down to showing respect for people you disagree with (always a tricky situation to land in!)
So what things can you do to show respect? Here are five things you can put into practice:
- Listen: If someone else is speaking, let them speak and don’t interrupt. Be present in the moment rather than responding quickly, forming your own opinions, and dismissing theirs. Everyone has their own experiences and beliefs, and they might not match yours, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less real, or valid. Respect comes from allowing people to have their opinions, even if you don’t believe them. And that doesn’t mean you can’t challenge them, but by listening first, the conversation will be a lot smoother!
- Show gratitude: This one is simple, but massive. And it’s saying thank you! To your family, your friends, your partners, your teachers, your co-workers, the cashier at the shop, the person holding the door open for you, a bus driver, and anyone else who has done a kindness to you – no matter how big or small! Being polite is such a powerful thing and can help create positive social interactions and build strong relationships!
- Be mindful of boundaries: Emotional, physical, spiritual, time based…whatever the boundary people set with you, listen and adhere to it. When you show that you understand the importance of lines in the sand, you are showing that you respect that person and how they feel. It’s like if someone told you a secret, you wouldn’t immediately go and spread it around the place. So if someone told you they had a physical boundary and didn’t like hugs, you don’t hug. Maybe they like high fives instead…the important thing to do is ask!
- Be ready to admit mistakes: Let’s face it, even when we’re certain we’re right, we might not be. And it sometimes takes a lot to admit that. But it shows a lot of maturity and is a true sign of respect when you can put your hands up and say “you know what, sorry, I made a mistake”. People will think a lot of you if you’re able to do this. And it means that when other people do it to you, you’ll be able to empathise with their feelings.
- Value people’s time: you might think that being a little late to meet someone is totally fine. And maybe it is once, or if it happens by accident, but if you make a habit out of being late to things, you’re basically saying that you don’t really care about other people’s time. And that’s not really cool! So respect people’s time by showing up, and they’ll do the same for you.
How to disagree respectfully
It might seem like if you’re trying to be respectful of everything and everyone all the time, it means you can’t call people out on their behaviour, or stand up for what you believe in. And of course that’s not true! There are still ways to have respectful conversations, even when you don’t agree with what other people say. Here’s another great video from the Young Anti-Bullying Alliance:
What does disrespecting someone look like?
Obviously just doing the opposite of the above points makes you, or other people, disrespectful. But there are a few more ways you may not have thought of, that are signs of disrespect:
- Ghosting, ignoring, or giving the silent treatments
- Purposely humiliating someone
- Lying or making rumours to hurt someone
- Dismissing or minimising someone’s feelings
- Weaponising people’s insecurities (bringing things up that they have told you they’re embarrassed or uncomfortable about)
- Telling people the things they say are always wrong
- Making everything about you and no one else
Put some respect on your own name
We’ve talked a lot about showing respect to others and what that means, but did you know being able to do that well really starts with respecting yourself.
So what is self respect?
It’s our own internal sense of worth that we create for ourselves. It comes from looking at our actions and knowing we live in a way we can be proud of.
So, it’s not something that can be influenced by other people. And it’s also not something that comes from material things or standards of beauty. It’s all about the way we treat ourselves – and by proxy, others – throughout life!
It also helps us manage our feelings and actions.
How?
Here’s an example:
Imagine you’ve done something you’re not proud of – maybe you had an argument with your sibling and said something over the line which made them upset. After a while, this makes you feel guilty and embarrassed. This is where self respect comes in. You don’t like feeling these feelings, and knowing that you’ve hurt someone. Self respect encourages us to think about how we treat everyone, and helps us take new actions to create new outcomes and set us on a path to finding a positive sense of who we are. It will be the thing that makes you apologise and promise to do better!
And it works for the good stuff too!
When we:
- Work hard;
- Learn something;
- Create something;
- Act with honesty, responsibility, and compassion
- Or do something that has a positive impact.
It helps us find comfort in those actions and makes us want to do them again. Self respect is all about the good vibes over and over again!
And why not put the good vibes into action on an NCS experience! Go away from home and spend time meeting new people you can be respectful to (!), show up for and make a positive impact where you live on a local community experience, or check out an online experience and see how you can better yourself in your own time!